


In the end it doesn't even matter

by furiousflamewolf



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Emotional Hurt, Falling In Love, Hurt, M/M, Panic Attacks, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 00:36:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17070161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furiousflamewolf/pseuds/furiousflamewolf
Summary: Lucas had always been able to feel his soulmates pain even before meeting him.





	In the end it doesn't even matter

**Author's Note:**

> Just a vent fic. You can ignore it.
> 
> Song: In the end, Linkin Park

Since the day the soul mark had appeared on his wrist Lucas had felt uneasy. There were times he couldn't breathe properly even after having done nothing. His chest constricting, cutting off his air supply. Making him cough and wheeze. Sometimes he would sob soundlessly. Sometimes there would be tears streaming down his face without him even being sad. 

Lucas didn't understand. He felt terrified. What was going on ??

It took Lucas a while to understand. This wasn't his pain. It was his soulmates pain. Which terrified Lucas even more. His soulmate was in pain ?? His soulmate was terrified.

Lucas didn't understand. 

The years passed. The fear stopped. The panic attacks stopped. Everything stopped. Lucas didn't feel anything. Nothing. There was no sign from his soulmate. His soul mark hadn't burned in over 10 years. Maybe his soulmate finally felt better ??

Lucas hoped. He really did. The pain in his heart had kept him awake at night. Wondering. Was his soulmate ok ??

Lucas went on with his life. As if nothing had happened. As if it hadn't felt like his soulmate was in agony and pain. Sometimes Lucas heart would hurt. A stabbing pain in his chest that would make him double over and leave him breathless.

It still happened sometimes. It would wake him up at night. Panting for air. Sweat all over his body. Lucas was terrified. He would fall asleep a few hours later feeling exhausted. It hurt him so much to know that his soulmate was still hurting. Was still being haunted.

Then after training hard Lucas had finally managed to get into Real Madrids first squad. Lucas' heart swelled with pride. It was everything he had ever wanted. His dream had finally come true. 

That's where he met Toni. The blond being a complete mystery for him. It fascinated Lucas. He wanted to talk to the German. Be his friend. Toni barely talked to anyone and usually minded his own business. Ignoring most of his teammates. Lucas was determined to get him at least to talk to him.

"Hola."

Toni flinched back at the hand on his back and shouldered his bag. Ignoring Lucas completely. Lucas knew it wasn't because Toni couldn't speak Spanish. He could. It sounded great. It was just that he did choose not to speak. Toni leaves him standing in the locker room on his own. Lucas shrugs.

He'd try again tomorrow. 

And the next day.

And the next.

Toni was a very hard one to crack. Lucas really wanted to be his friend. There was something fascinating about him. Lucas couldn't pinpoint it. After a while the chest pain and the panic attacks returned it had been over 10 years since Lucas had last felt that pain. It worried him to the core. 

He woke up that night covered in sweat. His breath caught in his throat. It was terrifying.

Throughout the first year at Madrid he had tried to talk to Toni. His tries being unsuccessful. Lucas never gave up though. He really wanted to befriend Toni. Then finally the blond gave in. Speaking a few words. Lucas counted that as an achievement. He had even managed to make Toni smile. 

The pain stopped for a while. Being replaced by warmth. Maybe his soulmate was finally feeling a little better ?? Lucas hoped. His relationship with Toni progressing. The blond even allowing him, to call him "Antonio." Lucas felt incredible.

Everything changed one day. 

Lucas had been the last in the locker room. Packing up his things, when there was stabbing pain in his chest. Lucas curled around the floor. Clutching his chest in agony. His vision was swimming. It hurt so much. So damn much. 

What the he'll was this ??

With shaky legs Lucas gets up. His head spinning. White dots appearing in front of his eyes. Stumbling to the showers. He freezes. Toni is curled up on the floor. His palms clutching his chest. Breathing heavily. Lucas calls his name. When he touches Tonis naked arm he stumbles back as if he was hit by lightning.

Ohh god. Toni was his soulmate. All of this pain had been his ?? 

Lucas has no idea what to do. It was said that touching your soulmate made him feel better ?? Lucas was terrified. His hands cupping Tonis cheeks. Cradeling his head in his lap. Running a hand through his hair. Lucas feels his own chest loosen at that. He can finally breathe again. 

Toni is out cold in his lap. Lucas has no idea what to do next. They can't stay in the team showers. 

"Antonio ?? Antonio por favor you have to wake up. Por favor."

Toni blinks at him. His eyes wide. Lucas doesn't dare to move. Treating Toni like a wounded, scared animal.  
Carefully he reaches out a hand. Toni accepting it reculantely.

They move forward from there. Toni starting to feel comfortable around Lucas. Talking to him. Laughing with him. They never speak about the soulmate thing. 

Lucas kisses him after a victory. In the farthest corner of the locker room. Toni responding. Making Lucas knees weak. They smile at eachother. Lucas getting lost in Tonis eyes. Lucas had relished in memories. Toni was fast asleep. His arm curled around Lucas waist. A soft smile dancing on Lucas lips.

His heart hadn't ached in years.


End file.
